Premeditated Disappointments
1 Thessalonians 5:12-24
But we appeal to you, brothers and sisters, to respect those who labor among you and have charge of you in the Lord and admonish you; 13 esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. 14 And we urge you, brothers and sisters, to admonish the idlers, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all of them. 15 See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies, 21 but test everything; hold fast to what is good; 22 abstain from every form of evil.
23 May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely, and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do this.
Growing up, I was raised to believe if I did everything I was supposed to do, everything would work out. I loved ‘hero’ movies where the good guys always prevailed. Imagine my shock when (at 12) I saw a movie which ended with a platoon of soldiers, who had been besieged for most of the movie, being overrun and killed. No impossible break out. No heroic rescue. They had fought valiantly. They were the good guys. But they were dead. And the movie ended. It was quite a jolt to see that being on the side of justice and right did not guarantee a happy ending. And I don’t like it.
The same life lesson occurred when I began working with other people. Promises were not kept and people failed to follow through. The world and other people were far more inconsistent than I was prepared for.
The Thessalonians were in a similar position both in the political context of their day as well as the day to day concerns of living together. They were surrounded by persecution and were struggling with uncertainty. Jesus had promised to return. Surely the Messiah would protect them and reward them in His second coming. But when Paul wrote this letter, over thirty years had passed since Jesus’ death. They were still waiting.
Their lives were supposed to get better by following Jesus and patiently waiting for Christ’s second coming. Times might be hard now but, on Jesus’ return, He would finish the job He had left undone in His first coming. Christ’s return would make everything right. They would be vindicated. Justice would reign and they would reap their reward for their faithfulness. That is how Christianity is supposed to work—Isn’t it?
Their faith had not led to an easier life much less the happy ending of the second coming. Thirty years had passed and still no Jesus. For many, their patience was running out. Little did they know, the waiting had just begun. Two thousand years later, we are still waiting. That is asking for a lot of patience.
The Christian life has never been an easy one. It is hard to keep loving when you have to do it every day. We can rally to an emergency, celebrate a wedding or a birth. But loving demands ongoing care without guarantees. We have no assurances our care will be received or appreciated—much less reciprocated.
Paul frankly acknowledges there will always be people who don’t or can’t pull their weight. It really doesn’t matter ‘why’ but there will always be people who don’t jump in to help (the idlers). There will always be people who are fearful and hesitant (the fainthearted). And there will always be people who are frail—people who cannot do what they used to be able to do (the weak). A life of Christian mindfulness is a tall order.
It is easy to judge and easy to be angry. It is easy to snap when others are not doing their part—when children throw tantrums—when the dishes never make it to the dishwasher or the clothes are littered across the room. It takes patience to be caring and mindful when a 5-year-old insists on dressing themselves when you have five minutes to get them to the car.
It is harder when we are tired, or when hardship and illness demand our immediate attention. It is harder when our nation and the world remain in depressing circles of conflict. Be patient with disappointment and be patient with yourself.
Expectations are premeditated disappointments. Patience requires giving up measuring our lives by outcomes we deem just and fair. Even if we are right, our lives are too short to know. Patiently waiting for the Lord requires we surrender “how it ought to be,” facing the world as it actually is and loving anyway.
As Paul says: “be patient with all of them.” There is no room for God if we have already decided what ought to be. Paul’s advice is to point us in the direction of mindfulness and regard: “See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to all. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
In the real world, when things are hard, I am not overjoyed with the “will of God” for me. I certainly am not thankful in all circumstances but I do try to acknowledge a God who abides with me always—even when, and especially when, I am losing patience. The whys of life are often beyond us. The facts of life include disappointment, great loss and pain. Jesus was not exempt. We are not exempt.
I take heart in the words of Jesus on the night He was betrayed. Jesus washed the feet of the disciples–He made no exceptions. He included all of the disciples—in the full knowledge that He would be betrayed and abandoned. It took all of the gifts of the Spirit to stay the course when He could see the loneliness and pain that awaited Him. He was patient with them and He is patient with us.
If you are waiting for people to change, you might as well be waiting for the second coming. Jesus regularly meets us exactly as we are. God is present—just not the way anyone expected. Let it be so.
